Issue #8 - Library
Currently in the library studying (cramming) for my social theory mid-term. In my case, I've gotten distracted by what I deemed more interesting (yet still plausibly related to sociology) rather than reading the assigned readings. Maybe this is stupid, certainly it will be stupid if I fail the midterm. But I somehow doubt I will - these things seldom happen. Lately, I have felt that my literacy is faltering. I cannot read as seemingly patiently or as in depth as I once felt myself capable. Perhaps that was a distractive emotion, previously, that I only had the emotion of depth without the true experience of it. That's incredibly likely. Either way, I just needed to take some type of a break before going forward with the sociological readings. They're dense, alright!
I do enjoy sociology, but lately I feel like my interests align more with design. That's been my favorite thing to answer when people ask me what I aspire to be. Literally a completely meaningless, interpretative word. But, still accurate. I've had fun designing music, web sites, bedrooms, album covers, clothing, books, information, writing, type-faces, etc. So, what can I say? I think that to pigeon-hole myself would be to amputate myself.
On the other hand, I know that I have this tendency to think like whatever the latest author I've studied is. Lately, that's Virgil Abloh. He's an interesting figure, but I'm still interested in his work. I don't care about all the cringe stuff, I do feel inspired by his ethos and career.
Either way, at the end of all of this, I will be me. I will look back on my life taking that as refuge. I am doing that now - looking back on my life knowing that I was just being me the whole time. That much is true. I can't wait to see what more I become, and how I continue to develop. Things take time.