Issue #5 - New apartment
Hey! I got my new apartment. Well, it's the same apartment as last year, but I was gone over the summer. They let me hold onto it for a tiny fraction of the rent, which is nice. So, I'm here again, and in a way, it is new. My life was frazzled and chaotic during my summer. I texted my host's girlfriend to thank her for allowing me to live with them, and she replied that it was fun, and that the day I left the home's productivity completely dropped, and that everyone started using a lot of drugs.
Well.
I'm here now, that is my primary concern. Last night, I was feeling a bit directionless and scared, but now I am feeling good again. You cannot really trust your life-reflections that late in the night. You must be energized - reflections must always be followed by actions. Sometimes, they can be the same thing. That's exactly what blogging is, exactly what all types of art are, at least for me. I understand that other people have different perspectives on that matter.
I'm unsure if I can really commit to an artist's lifestyle. In that, I mean, a modern artist's lifestyle. Is all the additional bullshit really worth it to make some money off of my art? I don't think so, at least thus far it has not been. I think working a low commitment day job has been preferable. Although it only requires a few hours every week of physical presence, the real danger is that the job seeps into my thoughts in my personal life. Thankfully, with the type of job I have now, I'm not really worried about that. Those are generally good thoughts. But we'll have to wait about 2 weeks to see the real effects of that. I begin working again in 3 days.
I'll try it out and see how I feel. I'm going to continue trying to be a developer, too. It is a really fun job. It is as though architecture is accessible! I do understand that the best programmers are really worth at least 30x more than weaker ones. I plan to work through this book. Today, I've read a chapter of my sociology textbook, a chapter of my Spanish grammar textbook, went through my vocabulary flashcards, purchased and cooked a meal, did 45/100 pushups, wrote 3 pages long hand, and drank a nice mug of coffee. I have a few sides of myself that require further development. Firstly, the physical - I'll need to cook and eat lunch soon before I go out to meet my girlfriend. On Monday, I should also go and register myself at the gym, once I get my card working. I also need to work on my computer science skills - I have a book for ANSI Common Lisp sitting in front of me that I'm going to crack open as soon as I finish this post.
So I suppose that's what I'll do now. These things are hard, but doing nothing is far harder. The emotions that I feel are blessed ones, even if they feel strenuous or laborious. We prefer this development rather than the facade of a comfortable silence. Good job, and keep going! To anyone reading this, I wish you great luck on your journey. Remember to remain production, rather than consumption oriented.