Issue #12 - Attempt
I have been attempting to write another blogpost for a bit now, but I cannot seem to get it out. I seem to be disappointed in myself, but simultaneously I intellectually hold that there is no such thing as a "failure" in journaling. The only failure would be not to create.
As a person belonging to this new generation, I have new design values. My DNA is different. How couldn't it be, in combination with the internet, the post-information age, the ability to easily pull talent (Fiverr, Twitter DM culture), and knowledge of historical failures of top-down design? Intellectually, I know this. Yet still, I feel a strong resistance toward the idea of perpetually iterating in public until something resonates. I don't think this is a case of me being selfish. Maybe sensitive. There certainly is a strong emotional reason for me not to do this, for me to want to release one good album every 3 years rather than a questionable single every week, but, emotions are quite like the smoke to a logical fire. Feelings are usual precisely because they don't have to be explained.
I have an image in my mind of the "unrefined quartz" that we all begin as. Slowly, unappreciated, we may dip ourselves into the flowing waters of population and become smooth. I cannot disavow the smooth, the manifestation of the shape of the water! But will this ever make a Michelangelo?